Frustrations

I guess every journey has its ups and downs. I have been very frustrated lately. Mostly with myself. I keep going back and forth, up and down. Some weeks I do really great and then one week I completely blow it. I know that WW is forgiving and I can start fresh the next week but it just kills me that I've been floating so close to that 30 pound mark. I haven't reached it yet.

Last week, I gained 2.8 pounds. I took a trip with my son and my mother to my grandmother's apartment in Rockford. I didn't bring my computer with me because she doesn't have access to the internet in her apartment. Unfortunately, I didn't bring my books or my journal with me either. I could have done things the right way. It would have been a little difficult but nothing stopped me but myself and my laziness. I didn't want to have to think about it. We went to Culver's and got frozen custard. I need to remember that I really just should NOT eat that stuff. It is SOO good but SOO bad for me. Well, I not only ate it but I got a waffle bowl and Reese's Peanut Butter Cup in it too. UUUGGGH! What is wrong with me? Why can't I just control myself. I don't need all of that. The one scoop of icecream would have been enough. I always think that I need more.

I vowed after that meeting that I would do better. Our goal for this past week was to fill our plate half way with vegetables. A quarter of it could be protein and the last quarter, a starch. I have been trying to do this. It's hard. I don't know what to do with vegetables sometimes and I have to feed my husband and my son as well. I started making a lot of things out of the Deceptively Delicious cookbook. Jessica Seinfeld wrote it and puts vegetable puree in everything. That way, you get a serving of veggies without really realizing it. It's a great thing. I love that cookbook. My husband even asks for the burgers! I made brownies out of it and my husband calls them Popeye brownies. They have Spinach in them. They taste great and you can't tell that there is spinach in them. The vegetable replaces the oil so they are a little dry but I eat mine with a glass of milk anyway!

Well, Monday I had my WW meeting. The week before, the woman at the weigh station had not been able to put my weight into the computer. It just wouldn't accept it for some reason. This week, it worked but she said, "You're down .6 pounds." I was so disappointed. I thought I had done so well and sure, I forgot to put some things into the computer but I had enough activity points to cover it. I went into the meeting a little depressed and very frustrated with myself. I didn't know what else to do.

There is a man in my group that just started 3 weeks ago. He's lost 5 pounds each week. He's almost caught up to me and I have been doing this for almost a year. AAAAaaaaaahhh! Ok, I got it out and now I will be ok. I'm very happy for him and I hope that he continues to be successful. I just want some of that success for myself.

I got home from my meeting and went to my computer to finish putting in my points and to track my weight. I put in my new weight and it said that I had lost 3.4 pounds since last week. OKAY WTH? Then I realized that because the computer wouldn't accept my weight the week before, it had counted it from 2 weeks back. I had actually lost what I had gained and then some! YAY! My depression lifted and I was remotivated. I went in and retook the quiz for my points value and answered some of the questions a little differently. It knocked my points down a bit but I think it will really help me kick start my weight loss again. We shall see!

CHALLENGE
The challenge from my meeting is to eat a vegetable that I've never had before. I don't think I've ever had butternut squash. That is what I was given.

Quote: "Live each season as it passes: breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit"
-Henry David Thoreau